J. ANNE

I have sat here in front of my computer for several minutes now.  Not knowing what to write or how to start.  In all honesty, I wrote part of my Grandpa’s eulogy over the last 24 hours, and I feel like I am drained.  I am out of words.  There are so many words to write, but none that seem to fit perfectly.

We are on the road towards my hometown.  I can’t help but let my mind slip into comparisons of the road that my life has taken me, and the road that my Grandpa’s life took him.  But weighing most heavily on my heart right now is the road my Mom has been walking since my Grandpa passed last week.  For a week now she has been busy.  She’s been making arrangements, planning travel for family members, checking in with her kids, and still taking care of my Grandma.  I am worried that tomorrow will be her hardest day.  Because tomorrow is Grandpa’s funeral, and on Thursday she might not be so busy anymore.  And this might start to set in… this, being the death of her father.

I wish I could stay longer for her.  To help her on this road, but I take comfort in knowing that my Mom is a caretaker.  She will throw herself into caring for my Grandma, and she will continue to strive to keep herself busy.  But I hope, that in the quiet moments of her day she will let her father’s voice seep into her mind… reminding her of how much he loved her and her brothers and sisters… and his wife… and all of those in his life.  And I hope that she will know in her soul that she cared for him so well in his final days.  He passed comfortably knowing that he was well-loved.